Therapy Session With Myself About Talking to Myself
I’m currently sick with bronchitis. For those of you who’ve never been blessed with bronchitis, FYI, it’s about as fun as watching CSPAN (minus the prank callers). Yes, yes bronchitis is about as fun as running into oncoming traffic. Or counting ants. While coughing uncontrollably. So, I am starting new antibiotics today. I got a shot yesterday (ouchins!) and I’m being as lazy as possible. I have to miss out on my Grammy’s birthday dinner tonight at my folks house and that’s a bummer. I have the most glamorous, fun and beautiful Grandmother. She plays in a ukulele band, enjoys drinking wild turkey, keeps it classy and always has a smile on her face. I won’t say how old she’s turning because that does not matter. She is still in her twenties as far as I’m concerned. Her passion for life and having fun is what makes her forever young. I have a nice gift for her, she loves jewelry. I guess I’ll have to give it to her at a later time :( I may be sick but I still feel guilty about missing her party. Hey, I suppose it’s better than showing up tonight bringing the gift of bronchitis for everyone to enjoy.
I feel like I’ve been caged up in my apartment too long but I don’t feel well enough to get out. It’s times like these I start asking myself questions like: “When am I going to feel healthy again?”, “Is coffee bad for you when you’re sick?”, “Should I see a therapist? Da-hude. I’m up here in my pjs drinking cough syrup (as prescribed) having conversations with my cats, myself AND the television. Therapist?”…. no no no. These behaviors exist even when I’m healthy. I have such great conversations with myself that I could be my own therapist….
“THERAPY SESSION WITH MYSELF”
Therapist: How are you feeling today Katie?
Me: Oh you know, a little isolated..
Therapist: Mhmm, well, where do you think these feelings of isolation are stemming from?
Me: Uhhh, from islolating myself?
Therapist: You came to see me today and that’s a good first step. Let’s focus on the positive. Tell me how you feel.
Me: You are me
Therapist: Well, yes.
Me: No. Not well yes. Yes. I gotta go, I’m not in the mood for therapy.
Therapist: Ok then, I’ll see you next Tuesday at 4
Me: No, you’ll see me constantly, you are me.
Therapist: No, YOU’ll see ME constantly, you are ME.
Me: I disagree with you.
Therapist: So, are you saying that you disagree with yourself?
Me: Exactly b*tch now back off
Wasn’t quite sure how to end that segment.
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